I saw a quote somewhere about it being difficult to be able to do something we have done in the past, as we are not the person we used to be. I was looking for the quote, but I’m unable to find it. It came to mind as I think of the work I am doing in addition to my writing. That is work as an advisor and teacher in the area of wellness and inspiration. In connection, I have been invited to an event that is very much connected to the work that I am doing, and in this same work I hope to grow more and more. There will be a panel of experts, who will share in various ways, information, inspiration, and tools that are valuable in the good work that is being done in a particular area. I look at the panel and I see some who have been my teachers, and I see some who are my peers… and in connection, I wonder why is it that I have not reached a similar level of success.
There is a French word which means to feel like, to have the desire for, to want… If I were to say I feel like eating, I would say J’ai envie de manger. I have always liked this verb, to feel like, which in English, the look of the word is so close to our word for envy, but it has a completely different meaning. I say this because my desire to continue to grow in my profession is not linked to envy of others, it is linked to desire and feeling. I want to, I feel like improving and committing to my growth and profession.
I wonder what have I been doing, as in the past I have not focused on my work as I am doing now. Thus, I am still very much on a journey of upward mobility. I ran this idea over in my mind, as well as in my prayer. I thought to say a prayer of questions.
I remembered some things about my journey… I remembered many years of suffering, sadness, and heartbreak, and what it has taken to clear my heart and mind and body of so much that was painful for me. It was a painful journey. I saw another quote that just seemed to grab me from the heart. It said, “did it hurt when you climbed up from hell?” I thought silently and still to myself, brilliant question, well put, and yes it did, it hurt like hell. but it is done, in the most magnificent way.
I have wanted to help as well, help another in her journey to wellness. So may I remember that even as I hope to grow in my profession of teaching and wellness, I am not where I hope to be because I was busy trying to get my heart and mind in a more peaceful place.
I saw an interview with the fine songstress Alicia Keyes. She shared how success came so early and fast for her, she had feelings of wanting to slow down, needing to take a minute for herself. After many years at the top of her game as a musician, she went to Egypt, alone, and it was a great moment of restoration and healing and renewal for her. I find it odd that Selena Gomez is in rehab, as she is young and beautiful, talented and successful… what is there to need a break from? Justin Bieber is having fun and screwing up now at the height of his success. Philip Seymour Hoffman has died. Someone who got so much of it right; a care and respect for his talent, fine work, and it seems he was a good man with a beautiful family.
This tells me there is so much more to life than professional success. We must endeavor with just as much commitment to take care of our hearts and our minds and our bodies, and connect with Love.
Not before its time is another idea that has come to me as words of inspiration. And, throw your soul through every window of opportunity. That I am to continue my work in love and patience and remember that for me success entails being well and enjoying… joy.
Lastly, the other day I was in bookstore just hanging out and enjoying myself amongst the books. There happened to be a talk by a graphic novelists. As a result, there were children of all ages listening in, from 3 to thirty plus… The questions the children asked about the gods and goddesses in connection to the Greek mythology of the graphic novels blew me away. The questions were beautiful in their dreamlike simplicity; having a glimpse into the mind of a child. That felt like success, that moment. Enjoying what I was doing, where I was, and with the people around. I’ll remember that success feels fine, it feels like moments of sublimity wherever we find ourselves…